Healthy. What is healthy? What does it mean, truly? People say that happiness is healthy. But is it really? If we were happy all the time would we be healthy? I don’t think we would. If you’re just happy all the time then would you even be human? Emotions make us who we are. Even the bad ones. Pain. Loss. Anger. Hopelessness. Especially the bad ones. My life may be hell but I would never trade it to always be happy. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I am who I am because of my emotions. And I love who I am. I have felt hatred so I know how to love. I have felt pain so I know how to be kind. I have made mistakes and felt betrayal so I know how to forgive. I have felt loss so I know how important the people I love are to me and I know how to miss people. I have felt anger so I know the importance of peace. I have felt like nothing mattered anymore so I know the importance of hope. Life is made up of good things and bad things.. And they are both equally important.
“The sands of time cannot be stopped. Years pass whether we will them or not… but we can remember. What has been lost may yet live on in memories. That which you will hear is imperfect and fragmented, yet treasure it, for without you it does not exist. I give you now a memory that has been forgotten, hidden in the dreamy haze that lies behind us.”
Everyone you meet is going to tell you to let it go, put the past behind you, it’s the only way to move forward. I think that’s wrong. People let go of their past, put it all behind them, and yes, they may take that step forward, but once they get there, they have no idea what to do. Why? Because they’ve forgotten everything they were. We are who we are because of the past! People always say to let stuff go, but I think we should hold on tight! We are who we are because of what we’ve been through. The heartbreaks, the successes, the friends, the enemies. Without our past, we are lost! So hold on tight! Gather your past in your heart and in your soul! Fight to hold on to your past and fight to strive for your future!
To all those Whovians out there along with everyone else. I just have to point out how ordinary Rose was. I mean we all see her as this absolutely, indescribably wonderful woman who’s practically a queen!! But think about it before (and after) Rose met the Doctor she worked in a shop. She lived with her mum and liked to eat chips. She was an absolutely ordinary girl. And yet everything we see when we look at her is purely extraordinary!!! I mean she liked to eat chips, yet she showed the Doctor light and hope when he had none. She lived with her mum in an apartment, yet she saved entire galaxies!!! At first glance she was so simple, but if you took a minute to really look at her, to ask her name or hear her story, she unfolds into this beautiful, complex woman who we are so starstruck by. Now just think, what does that say about everyone else? The teenager you bump into walking down the street, could he cure cancer? The woman in front of you buying coffee, could she be the first female president? I guess what I’m trying to say is that everybody is ordinary at first glance, but take the time to know them, and they can be extraordinary!!!
What will I choose? I feel as if I’m constantly at a crossroads. Scared to choose one path or the other. I’m fifteen and I’m trying to decide what to do when I turn eighteen. 2 options. I either move away and cut off almost all contact with my family and friends. A fresh start. A chance to truly be who I want to be for the first time in my life. (I’m kind of leaning toward this one.) or I don’t. I stay behind. Be who my family wants me to be. The perfect daughter. The perfect sister. The perfect friend. The perfect everything. Except myself. If I stay behind will I ever get to become who I want? Living with everyone else’s expectations will I ever be able to fulfill my own? I love my family. And I know that deep down they love me too. But right now. When they look at me, all they see is a disappointment. I’m so scared to be out there, alone. But you know what’s worse than being alone? Being with people that make you feel alone.
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something”